♥

Sunday, November 09, 2008

oh -.
paranoia is taking over me.

now i seriously keep think i wrote wrong answers. even though first thing i look at the questions and i know the answers.
its like oh, thats an ester linkage , oh thats condensation reaction.
but thinking back again, womdering if i did wrote them down because the whole paper i have been cancelling like crazy that the whole paper looks like some paper used to calculate rough workings, so unlike the neat work that i am always handing in.
and now i keep thinking of different possibilities of the answers that i could have written instead of that, such as that bond is some alky amine (no such thing) and the reaction is dehydration (impossible cause no H bonds are involved) and etc etc etc.
minus minus minus minus. how much more can i minus?

this totally is wasting my time and killing my brains over such matters which i am also afraid that it might just be true, and it will be omg, then there i will go calculating the possibilities of the potential grades i will get, again, and get worried all over again, calculating how much i need to save myself.
oh well, but for math, thats the end. too much regret already. i didnt do my best. and the best thing of all, i can do the paper better at home. i think for the first time, i am experiencing exam stress. fuck.
part of me felt that its unfair, i need to do the paper again, it doesnt reflect my true ability. seriously, that piece of paper is going to be damn ugly on my creditials. damn sian.
but one more year? thats gonna be so 'great' eh. and i will be some odd goat somewhere at some place.

just hoping that so far, this will just remains at a 'maximum' damage of getting B or C (if i am gonna be more tought to myself).
then getting all Cs, so that i get a score of abt 70..

wasted two damn days thinking, or rather slacking so that i can keep my mind off this or else when studying i will just keep going back to mistakes or rather potential mistakes i might have made. wahlao eh!

maybe that is why i hate about horror movies, and its effect on me. i just keep replaying those damn scene. better if i have not known eh. but thats the thrill of a horor movie right.

oh well.

back to studying.
i cannot live to regret-

'this is the last chance to get it right...now or never'